which sounds delicious. >> eric stonestreet. >> seems drunk on stage what's wrong -- i was not drunk, i was tipsy. >> l.a. reid. >> do you work on thanksgiving? >> absolutely not. i'm american. >> and music from

intern, here to spread the word

>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy the intern, here to spread the word about downy unstoppables. and here to help me is "jimmy kimmel live's" own guillermo. >> hi, jimmy the intern. >> jimmy: now we're gonna see if guillermo's jacket, which was laundered with downy unstoppables a few weeks ago, will stay fresh in a not so fresh place. okay, jacket. here we go, pal. here you are. very nice. you got everything you need? >> i have downy unstoppables. >> jimmy: thank heaven. go to it. >> you want to smell me? >> you smell awesome. >> thanks to downy unstoppable. you put in it washer with clothes and you will smell so good. smells great. >> smells really good. >> come here. you want to smell me? smell me. how i smell? how i smell? oh, my god you smell terrible. he here, let me give you downy

unstoppable. hold this for me. let me give you -- >> there you have it. downy unstoppables manages to keep clothes smelling fresh in even the smelliest of locations. >> jimmy the intern, i have an extra fish for you. >> jimmy: oh, that's terrific - thank you so much, you're a real pal. >> dicky: show us what you can do in 12 seconds to keep tv fresh with a new dance, act or talent. the winner will have a chance to appear in a downy live commercial on "jimmy kimmel live!" go to youtube.com/downy to enter. "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with eric stonestreet, l.a. reid and music from aimee mann. hi, i'm amy for downy unstopables in-wash scent boosters, here with my favorite new intern, jimmy. mmm! fresh! and it's been in the closet for 12 weeks! unbelievable! unstopables! i'll show you how! ♪ just shake them into the washer i can't believe this lasts 12 weeks! neither can they. so you're going on tour to prove it. downy unstopables. follow jimmy's unstopables tour on youtube.

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on your iphone 5. rethink possible. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- eric stonestreet, l.a. reid and music from aimee mann. with cleto and the cletones. and now, what more can i say, here's jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for taking time away fr from -- i hope you had a good weekend. i hope you participated in our third annual national unfriend day on saturday. national unfriend day or nud as we call it, the day on which i encourage anyone with a facebook account go through their ligs of frie list of friends and deleted anyone who is not a friend. nud was a huge success. as of today, can i get a drum roll please? the total number of facebook friends is down to 230 billion people.

so we win again. those who did participate really seemed to have enjoyed it. you get the same feel wheg you organize your closet, you feel as fresh and clean as howie mandel's hands. some people got into nud. a librarian from kansas city, actually threw a national unfriend party from the library and sent this picture of her nud party. you can see it was a raver. the only people who showed up was this kid. alicia said, and i quote, attendance was not what we hoped. but i would argue that that is the point of national unfriend day, it's not about socializing, it's about anti-socializing, the fewer people at the party the better. that's what nud is all about, in a way alicia had the most successful nud party of all time and probably the only nud party of all time.

i thank her for her service. we all do. [ applause ] thank you. leading up to national unfriend day i asked viewers to send videos explain whog their most annoying facebook friend was and why they were unfriending them. we had great responses we ran some but more good once over the weekend. here now for post-national unfriend day, part ii. >> i'm unfriending a friend today because when he writes me he ends sentence with a heart, that's weird. >> her entire facebook as passive aggressive status updates about ex-boyfriends, stupid song lyrics and complaining about problems and cherry on top is duck face profile picture. unfriended! >> my best unfriend is casey. casey changes her relationship status every single day. she's in a relationship and she

has the best boyfriend in the whole wide world and then she's single and guys suck. it's complicated, okay. you're complicated, casey. unfriend. >> best unfriend franky. he always posts my facebook to tell me to read the bible. who does he think he is, my mother? i don't think shove i'm surprised he doesn't tell me to brush my teeth and go to bed. unfriended. >> my best unfriend, a person that randomly added me, farty pants, who is that? >> happy nud, i'll unfriend my mom, she is always writing on my facebook wall and commenting on my photos and statuses, it's time for her to go. my mom is my best unfriend. >> you have a candidate, his na name, the way i'm deleting him is because he decided to go watch magic mike without me.

>> jimmy kimmel unfriend day on facebook and i picked yolanda, she doesn't even know me and she put on my facebook, i named my baby semaj, james spelled backwards, because i'm mad at the baby's daddy. >> she did not? >> she did. >> semaj. not only -- that's some name. not only should she be unfriended, she should probably be unparented, too. thank you. you're here on a good night, musical guest is aimee mann with james mers ericer and l.a. reid we'll be joined by eric stonestreet. eric was at the american music aawards last night presenting for favorite female country artist, after he presented people online suggested he might

have been drunk when plented this award. i'll get to the award tonight. because there has to be some reasonable explanation for this reaction to the pairing of the gangnam style guy with mc hammer. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: amusement? or someone owned an mc hammer single in the '90s? but we'll find out. as you may have heard hostess which makes wonder bread and twinkies is in bad shape, like most of their customers ironically. hostess employees went on strike and the company said if they didn't come back they would liquidate. that sounds delicious. twinkies you could drink, twinkie smoothies could save hostess. employees didn't come back and hostess says they'll dissolve or sell the company off.

if they can't sell twinkies to americans they should never work in business again, right? hostess and the employees union are going to meadation now but things don't look good which means in the future we'll make our own twinkies using old sink sponges and cool whip. no one is sure what will happen but rumors that a mexican company might buy them and the owner of that company, addressed those rumors today. >> a look at your business headlines, a mexican billionaire may save the twinkie. there is growing speculation, the company groupo bimbo could try to buy hostess. >> >> guillermo: twinkie make me the man i do, i save all my pe so and now i have all of them! look, i am a twinkie! ha, ha, ha! >> jimmy: who would have ever guessed? this is funny, even though

hostess is headquartered in texas a reporter in new jersey felt the need to ask governor chris christie what he thought about this whole thing. and unfor ttunately for him the governor did not take the bait. >> you are not asking me about hostess twinkies, have you? what's the next question. i'm not answering a question -- i'm on the "saturday night live" enough, you think you're getting me behind this microphone talking about twinkies? this is a setup, i know it. you people are the worst. this is the setup. i am not answering questions on twinki twinkies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's fat but he's not stupid. the new ""twilight" movie had a big opening. [ screams ] call down it's over. earned $141 million, making it eighth biggest movie opening in united states.

people waited in line for days and when they came out they went to walmart to line up for black friday. this is the final movie in the twilight franchise, which is weird. every movie they put out makes hundreds of millions of dollars and they'll stop? like apple announcing we're only going to iphone 6 and then we're done. that's enough. apparently mitt and ann romney went to see "twilight" at the movies saturday night. i guess "medea" was sold out. they had some trouble when they got to the theet e the girl in the ticket booth didn't have change for a million-dollar bill. funny they would see that. they go to the movies a lot, enjoy eating and being milk duds. meanwhile, our pal snoop dogg or snoop lion as hess curre's curr known, wants to invest in a

scottish soccer team. there is their logo, you can see sw what attracted him to the team, that and turning a set of bagpipes into a multiheaded bong, but he told a scottish newspaper after watching highlights, he didn't watch the game, he watched highlights of the game, where the celtic squad bead barcelona in champions league he wants to become an investor. he's so high he likes soccer. that's how much marijuana this man is smoking. you see, to me -- [ applause ] -- if he's got that kind of money to invest snoop should bailout hostess. if that's not marriage made in stoner heaven, i don't know what is. are you looking forward to thanksgiving? are some of you in town for thanksgiving? [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to smoke a turkey, maybe a zebra if i get my hands on one but thintsing, the l.a. city council encourage l.a.

residents to have meatless mondays, they want us to be vegetarians one day a week monday, that's like asking me to be gay once a week. i could do it, i'd rather not. i was at the farmers market this weekend, i bought a free-range chicken, a chicken that got to spend its life running around a farm instead of being koopd up in a coop, i guess and i was very proud of buying the free-range chicken, but they had a great life, unlike the cooped up chickens, these chickens didn't want to die, so i paid eight bucks extra to kill a happy chicken. [ laughter ] what we should be eating are the unhappy chickens, the chickens that hate being in the coop so much, they flour themselves and dive in the deep fryer. i want suicidal chick ens. unless they come with a littles in into -- noose, i won't buy them.

if you're look for a christmas gift for someone you don't like, a company in japan is producing an iphone case you can eat. this is not the joke. i think. unless it's a joke on us. the case is made of baked brown rice. looks very durable. this is the top of the phone. they left a hole so you can push the lock button or maybe someone at the factory got hungry and took a bite. nice thing to give homeless people stind of turkeys for thanksgiving. the case costs $48. seems like a lot for something that would last i'm guessing a minute, maybe. this is a real ad. this is on the edible iphone case website. i'm not sure what the words say except for iphone 5. but the model, i guess, appears to be using the iphone case. and then now here she is eating the iphone case and really eating the iphone case. and there she is eating it under

her desk with some kind of party hat on. it's a great idea. but you have to admit it's refreshing to hear about a strange japanese product that has nothing do with a weird sexual fetish, isn't it? one more thing, back on the topic of national unfriend day we got a lot of videos and tweets, people tweeted all weekend to let me know how many they unfriended, some unfriended hundreds of people. some deleted their facebook account altogether which means they unfriended themselves. that is the ultimate unfriend. i like that. but now you whittled down the number of so-called friends on facebook, your new challenge is to make friends outside of facebook. human friends. so tonight to help with you that, we put together an instructional video i hope you will find instructive. >> national unfriend day presents how to make a friend in the real world. now that you have unfriended most of your false computer

friends, here are a few neat tricks to friending a friend in the real world. you know, the outside place where all of the people around. that's it. have a seat. don't be shy. how about you ask a gent if he'd like a sody pop? that a boy, that shows real moxie. golly. don't be discouraged, champ. give it the old college try. mayhaps you could chat about the weather. nothing like a warm smile to brighten up a gloomy day, eh? hey now, the umbrella didn't do anything wrong. have no fear, keep at it. and you'll be practically swimming in friends lickety split. hmmm, how about you sweeten the

deal. who doesn't like a few sawbucks? looks like he took the bait. now you have got him, champ. just look at you. two peas in a pod. uh-oh. well, what's a little roughhousing between friends, eh? good, clean fun. say, i think he's keen on you. swell. now, now, don't despair. hey, now, where you headed? don't you go back run back to the confounded machine. good god man, you're better than that! why do i even bother? well, it's too late. this has been a disappointing installment of "how to make a friend in the real world." brought to you by lead. it's in everything! >> jimmy: we have a great show

tonight. from the "x-factor," l.a. reid is here. we have music from aimee mann and be back with eric stonestreet. so, stick around. ♪ first rule of taking the world by surprise? do something the world will actually notice. introducing the entirely new ford fusion. with a turbo-charged ecoboost engines and a hybrid that doubles the fuel economy of the average vehicle. it's an entirely new idea of what a car can be.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program a very successful record producer turned tv judge. from the "x-factor," l.a. reid is here. and then, with music from her latest album called "charmer." aimee mann, with some help from james mercer of the shins, from the bud light stage. tomorrow night we'll be joined

by yand andy garcia, by two castoffs from "dancing with the stars" will be here on another double elimination night. and we'll have music from andy allo. and then on wednesday, tim allen, manny pacquiao, and music from flo rida. and on thursday, i'm going to take a nap. right here on the show. >> jimmy: our first guest is an emmy-winning actor who stars on an emmy-winning show and every morning splashes his face with emmy-winning cologne before driving to work in his indy 500-winning car. you know him as the colorful cameron on "modern family." watch it wednesdays at 9:00 on abc, please welcome eric stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? >> good. how you doing? >> jimmy: now, as we mentioned in the monologue, a presenter on the american music awards last night. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: as soon as you were on stage everyone started tweeting that you were drunk.

>> yeah. it's the crazy thing about twitter, you get immediate feedback on your life right way. i got back to my seat. stonestreet looked drunk. i was not drunk. i was tipsy. there is a difference. then taylor came up, i was isn't sure -- >> jimmy: taylor swift. >> she won, i wasn't sure if she'd ever won an award before, if she was ever on stage, if it was an comfortable environment, she was holding a purse. i'm going to hand her an award, she has one handful and i was going to hold the award. >> jimmy: looked like you forgot to give it to her. she wanted it and you were like i'll take it here, you didn't want to hold her purse? >> i was trying to leave her one hand free to gesture with. >> jimmy: let's look at some of -- we won't watch the whole thing. >> oh, my gosh. >> hello, everyone.

[ laughter ] i'm a little bit country. oh, really? because i'm a little bit rock 'n' roll, eric. oh, my gosh. that makes me an all-around presenter. i can hand out an award for adult contemporary, alternative rock. >> jimmy: so, knock drunk, just tipsy. >> totally. that's the first time i saw it. boy, is that guy drunk or what? oh, my. you know those things you have to bring some energy to it. >> jimmy: it's not like you're driving a vehicle, you're hosting. what is the worst that would happen, somebody wouldn't get an award, justin bieber would only get nine. you are not cameron, people sometimes mistake you for your character. you are not a gay man. >> no. >> jimmy: you are a straight

man. >> yes. it's funny because it's growing more and more apparent when i meet nice folks that i don't know personally how disappointed you are when you meet me. [ laughter ] i'm a pretty nice guy as eric but everyone really loves my character, cam. and it's just like, i could see it just -- it washes over people's faces when they meet me like, oh. [ laughter ] i guess, can you get a picture with my daughter. i wanted a picture with you but you seemed so not as much fun. >> jimmy: you feel like you've been lied to in a way. >> kind of. >> jimmy: just acting. how do you prepare -- when you're playing a role, you are playing a gay man on television and you go on ride-alongs? how do you search a role? >> yeah, i spent a few nights in west hollywood. went -- jesse took me out, went to the clubs. >> jimmy: you feel you have to be careful, you maybe don't want

to by stereo typical but in some ways do you have to be? >> i always wanted to take cam right to the line of what is considered too much or over the top or broad or whatever. because i think that's where the real energy of the character lies as right there at the line. but it always cracks me up when people come up to me and tell me, it's very rare that this is happens, someone will say, oh, my god, you are too much. [ laughter ] i'm like, thank you, sir. >> jimmy: both are. >> thank you, very much. i appreciate you. jesse and i are different people. jesse, who plays mitchell on the show is actually gay in real life and we -- >> jimmy: he's committed to the role. >> yes. he went right in there. he is fantastic. we do these speaking engagement things every once in a while. >> jimmy: q & a type of thing. >> we'll talk to the audience

and let them ask any questions. jz a few weeks ago, i think it was in connecticut where somebody said, have either of you ever been arrested? didn't know if jesse had ever been arrested, i knew i had been. i was like, wait, have you been? wait, let's not see what we got arrested for until we count to three? and then i think this will demonstrate how different each of us are in real life. one, two, three, jesse says jumping over a turnstile to see barbra streisand. and i say bar fight. there you go. >> jimmy: you did something very special for jesse at one of these events, yes? >> yeah, his birthday was on a monday in boston, we were touring, like a three-night little tour and unbeknownst i arranged for the gay men's chorus of boston, 85 members strong, gay men's chorus of boston to surprise him and sing "heavy birthday."

>> jimmy: are there any men's choruses that are not gay? just call it men's chorus. >> i called it the gay chorus. i was like, give it up for the gay chorus, like men's gay chorus. >> jimmy: what do they do? >> i called them on a friday, very smort notihort notice, i'm if you watch "modern family" i'm eric stonestreet. i hear silence. i am and we're doing a show, i don't know if you heard by the and i would love to surprise jesse with his favorite ent entertainer is barb billira str and he loves "into the woods" -- you would know that you said here comes treble last week on the show, remember i had the sweater with the giant g clef. he made me on the phone say

"here comes treble" and then i was in. like simon says >> jimmy: i don't know where this video came from. >> people in the audience shot it. no one knew it was happening. these guys so carefully snuck into the back of the theater while we were doing the show and got ready and then the curtain went up and i said it's jesse's birthday and they sing happy birthday and break into a number. ♪ baby you're a firework ♪ >> jimmy: kind of alarming. we'll take a break. eric stonestreet is here. we'll be right back. be positive, yet firm. we need to leave our contract plan and make the move to

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>> jimmy: we're back with eric stonestreet. aimee mann still to come. a photo we obtained. this is in next week's episode of "modern family." what's going on here? >> not much. in, not much. cam is an understudy in a local theater's production of "cats v "cats"and i have a pretty fun job. >> jimmy: you get costume approval? >> what's so funny, they brought

me that costume and there was nothing around this area. and i'm like, america doesn't need to see this. we have created character that people genuinely like. why are we going to shove this in their face. >> jimmy: it's embarrassing. >> i need something over this and they said it looked like a giant piece of pubic area. >> jimmy: it does. >> no, it does not. >> jimmy: a little bit. >> i get up in the tree and there is paparazzi. then i get up in the tree and there is paparazzi everywhere, of course. and i'm like thank god i have this fur over my junk. but what i loved is in these moments when i was realtilative under control, they were bored, chewing their gum where you bu when i would move or get out of tree they were like action. they are just here to watch me fall in case i get in trouble.

>> jimmy: it's a cruel world. you're a cat, would you land on your feet. >> i would. >> jimmy: the joke is on them. >> those are jazz shoes. try climbing a tree in jazz shoes. >> jimmy: i'm excited to to hear the great billy dee williams is a guest star on the show. >> that was cool, shows up as exactly cool as you would want billy dee williams to be. >> jimmy: right out of colt .45 commercial. >> i talked to him about jazz and his art, he's accomplished and cool guy. i found myself in the billy dee vibe. i had to stop at best buy on my way home, my parents coming into town and i had to get something for the guest room. like, let me get that tv right there. like i was all billy dee'd out for a minute. i'm sorry, i worked with billy dee williams, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: you're family is coming? >> tomorrow. >> jimmy: who cooks? >> this is the second time they come in for thanksgiving.

we divvy it up. i like cooking the turkey, my grandmother had a method. my mom and dad take over the sides. i'm building a new barbecue at my house, smoke a couple turkey breasts to change it up. >> jimmy: smoke it up. >> we have that in common we love to cook food. >> jimmy: that is right. congratulations. >> what was funny about that? >> jimmy: i don't know. we'll take it, though. eric stonestreet. "modern family" wednesdays at 9:00 on abc. we'll be back with l.a. reid. ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest is a producer and music industry mogul so revered, they named a city after him. he current sits in judgment of wannabe singers on "the x-factor," wednesday and thursdays on fox. please say hello to l.a. reid. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how's it going? >> how do y >> how you doing? >> jimmy: great. second season of "x factor" you are a judge and meanter. >> i take it to seriously. >> jimmy: i think you don't think who cares who sfwhins.

>> no, no, we go so far night it's a mess, when the season ends if they don't win where do guy from there? now i'm into the relationship and i don't know where to go. >> jimmy: you're stuck with a loser if you don't have -- >> i sign all of the losers. >> jimmy: do you get to sign them or do you have to negotiate them? is it part of the deal that you sign them? >> i negotiated that before i started. that was the prerequisite to sitting on the panel. >> jimmy: very wise. anybody good goes to you. >> maybe. >> jimmy: maybe. >> maybe. >> jimmy: this is some deal you've signed up for yourself. >> that's how desperate i was to get on tv >> jimmy: are you most competitive with siemgmon? >> i would say so. demi used to give me hugs when i came to the set now she walks by and says, hello. she keeps walking. she takes it so seriously. >> jimmy: you are doing well, you have two of the three -- >> go figure.

i was upset about getting the category. >> jimmy: let's take a look. we have videotape. >> you are not supposed to have a tape of it. >> jimmy: you get a category, under 18, 18 to 24 -- >> jimmy: or 25 -- plus. >> to 100. >> jimmy: let's look at l.a.'s getting to the news. >> you have good news for me? >> you will be mentoring the over 25. >> jimm . >> the what? >> over 25. >> jimmy: if i'm one of the over 25 singers seeing that has to make me feel great. >> didn't know who they were. didn't necessarily who the over 25s were, so wasn't personal it was the category. because i spent my entire ka keer devel career developing usher and bieber and all these artists were kids, even rihanna, you

give me somebody that is 40, what am i go doing? >> jimmy: one thing, you brought justin bieber in to mentor them. that had to be weird. >> i thought i'll get a young category and be cool, i'll bring justin bieber. so i get bieber do it and find out the category and justin is like explain to me why am i coming again? these people are like much older than me. who am i to tell them what to do? >> jimmy: how old are your singers. >> they are not that old. 40. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you got a 40-year-old listening to justin bieber's advice. >> happy. if you're a contestant and want to get through, like trying to get in private school, do you everything perfectly right. >> jimmy: but a preschooler decides whether to admit you or n not. [ laughter ] so, you had, as you ran through the list of some performers

thathat you signed and developed, the most famous people. how do you do it? how do you sign an artist? >> i have many, many ways. once they get to my office i have -- my most famous way is bronx tale way >> jimmy: the movie? >> when they come into my office and audition if i really love them i walk over to the door and i lock it and i say you can't leave. right? what do you like? pizza, beer? whatever you like, pepsi, whatever you like. >> jimmy: really? >> but you're not leaving. >> jimmy: i think that's kidnapping. i'm pretty sure that's -- >> guilty as charged. >> jimmy: then you pressure them to sign with you. do they ever say no? >> no, they never say no but the problem is when they come in and i don't do that, they were like they didn't like me. i'm known for doing it. somebody sings and i say that was nice, thank you they are like i blew it. >> jimmy: they come in and actually sing right there in the office for you?

absolutely. every day. >> jimmy: every day? >> often. >> jimmy: that's got to be an extremely uncomfortable thing. worst job ever. >> i know, right? god. >> jimmy: i mean really -- >> that's luck. >> jimmy: that and -- have you become hardened? you now used to letting them down? >> i'm softer. i sign too much now. >> jimmy: do you ever cry after they leave? >> not one time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they ever cry in the office? >> i swear -- >> jimmy: some, you rejected them and they went on to become big super stars? >> that's never happened to me, has it lady gaga? >> jimmy: oh, that's a bad move. yeah. that was really bad. >> that was the big one. >> jimmy: has she reminded you? >> often. i did sign her, maybe after six months i listened to the demos and said i don't think so. i don't think so.

i let her go and went on to bmt biggest star a year later. biggest star in the world. i'm really good but i'm not that good. >> jimmy: i guess not. this is interesting photograph. this came from twitter. >> oh, my goodness, how did you find that? >> jimmy: that's you, babyface and michael jackson. you look like george benson than you in this picture. where was this taken? do you remember this sth. >> that was probably like an awards show and in the '80s, probably, my guess is like '88, '87, something like that. >> jimmy: you knew michael jackson well? >> i've known him for a long time. i did. >> jimmy: socializing? >> would i call it socializing? a little bit. i don't know if michael socialized. i wasn't around for studio 54. i heard he socialized there. i was tlnt for that. >> jimmy: no long dinners or anything like that? >> a couple of times i had dinner with him

>> jimmy: pac-man marathons in the air cade? >> he served us and he had pass tashgs except it was carved in the shape of disney characters. i thought that was -- but mine wasn't. >> jimmy: what disney characters? >> mick i don't mouey mouse, do. but mine was just pasta. hey, mike, i like -- >> jimmy: when he brought the pasta did he then lock the doors? >> no, no. actually michael got up and said now you can't leave. >> jimmy: you are working on thanksgiving, live show on thanksgiving. >> we do. >> jimmy: because you work for a foreigner, simon cowell. >> are you working? >> jimmy: absolutely not. i'm an american. rub it in when you get over

there. >> really get to be here. >> jimmy: l.a. reid. wednesdays and thursdays on fox. we'll be back with aimee mann and james mercer.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: her new album is called "charmer." here with the song "living a

lie," with some help from james mercer of the shins, aimee mann! ♪ you can see yourself in the side mirror tossing your hair ♪ ♪ if no one is there why do you care ♪ ♪ though i let you think there was no witness to all of your crimes ♪ ♪ i knew what you were a climber who climbs i'm living a lie you're living it too ♪ ♪ 'cause i live it with you i'm living a lie

a lie i can't tell ♪ ♪ so we wait for a crack in the shell no one bears a grudge like a boy genius ♪ ♪ just past his prime gilding his cage one bar at a time ♪ ♪ for every open arm there's a cold shoulder waiting to turn people to blame ♪ ♪ bridges to burn i'm living a lie you're living it too 'cause i live it with you ♪ ♪ i'm living a lie

a lie i can't tell so we wait for a crack in the shell ♪ ♪ a girl comes around at a time when your ground is as shaky as leaves on a tree ♪ ♪ creating for you a persona or two or an out-and-out mythology ♪ ♪ now there's too many cooks but you like how it looks when they're bowing and calling you boss ♪ ♪ but the powers that were were invested in her and now winning means taking a loss ♪ ♪ i'm living a lie you're living it too 'cause i live it with you i'm living a l